The birth of a child is a huge change in family life. And although fathers’ lives also change, being a mother is a unique role. Many new mothers easily lose touch with themselves in the first few months after giving birth, devoting themselves entirely to their child. However, it is very important to find a balance between caring for your child and paying attention to your own feelings, because only a happy and fulfilled mother can give her baby true love and support. Here are some tips based on the concept of “gentle” self-care.

After giving birth, it is important to return to yourself and listen to yourself again. For example, through contact with nature: walking in the park, breathing in the fresh air after the rain, touching the bark of trees, listening to birds singing. Stay alone for at least 15-20-30 minutes. Sometimes the simplest things help you to come out of sensory numbness, feel the life around you, and remember what brings you joy.

Mothers often sacrifice their plans for the sake of their children, but that doesn’t mean that life has stopped and those plans will never be realized. Motherhood is not an altar where all development and fun are sacrificed. Travel, a new job, studying, hobbies — there will be time for all of this if you want it in the future. It’s just a different period right now. It’s important to remind yourself: “I’ll come back to this, just a little later.” That way, there won’t be any internal conflict or feelings of loss.

• Fear of losing your qualifications is a common phenomenon. But the catch is that if you reflect on it and worry about it, it means that you care about your development and feel a desire for it. It won’t go away. One way or another, you will find ways to grow even while caring for your child. This could be reading professional literature, taking online courses, or discussing interesting topics with friends. And if it seems that everyone around you is only focused on professional growth, they too will have children one day, and they will slow down, while your child will grow up and you will pick up the pace you want.
• The first year after childbirth is a test for a couple. It is not worth making drastic decisions about family matters during this period. Emotions are running high, and fatigue has accumulated. It may seem like everything is falling apart, but in reality, both of you are adapting. Give yourself time to recover, and then calmly assess your marriage to understand what to do. Perhaps you just need to get through it all.
• It is important to find people you can share your feelings with without being judged. Preferably another mother, because she will understand your feelings like no one else. The opportunity to complain and hear in response: “I’m tired too, but how long do we have left, two years? We’ll get through it!” Such support gives you the strength to move on and not dwell on the difficulties.
• Don’t judge yourself for not being able to do something. We are not omnipotent, and we all have limited resources. Reclaim your sense of your own needs. Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to allow yourself to lie down instead of washing the dishes, or to walk to the store instead of walking around the yard. This is not laziness or weakness, but an important part of recovery.
• When you are in touch with yourself, you are less dependent on the opinions of others. You confidently defend your boundaries, don’t feel guilty about taking a break, and make decisions based on your feelings. Remember that no one knows you better than you do. Other people’s comments about parenting, everyday life, or work are just someone else’s opinion, not a guide to action.
• Every mother has hobbies that fulfill her — it’s important not to forget about them. Small steps — a few stitches in knitting, a couple of sketches, a few pages of your favorite book — turn into something bigger over time. This gives you a sense of progress, which is so lacking in the routine of motherhood.
• Taking care of yourself is about acceptance. No one is perfect, and that’s okay. If something doesn’t work out, it’s not a reason to beat yourself up, but an opportunity to look at the situation differently. Don’t strive to be a “supermom”; it’s important to just be a real person who does what they can.
• Celebrate your successes, even small ones. Even if you slipped up four times today instead of eight, that’s still progress. The most important thing is not the external pressure to “try harder,” but your inner pride in yourself. You are growing, and you can do anything. Self-care begins with recognizing these steps, not with trying to live up to other people’s expectations.