Before we get to answering the pressing question at hand, can I tell you something? 

I really miss blogging regularly.

I wish I could blog every week day, like I did in the good old days. Because as much as I hope you enjoy what I write & find it useful in some way, I *need* to write. I’m a writer, & as any writer knows, you don’t really have a choice. You have to write. It’s like food, breath, & sleep. It’s essential. 

But life the past several months (more like half a year) have been chock full of pressing life obligations–like keeping my children alive & well, while also undertaking a huge life transforming project, otherwise known as project downsize.

I keep thinking this time sucking project will end soon, but it just keeps going.

I really do think I’m in the final stages of downsizing & being fully moved & acclimatized into our smaller place. I have had so many (so many!) thoughts come to mind that I want to share with you. About stuff (I want less of it), about relationships (having a rock solid husband is perhaps the most valuable things in the world), & about how so often we spend our thoughts & time on so much clutter that neither enhances or enlightens. And, how $14,000 mistakes are lame . 

But, we’re not going to talk about that today. 

Today, the lovely Ms. Jenny Ramsey steps in to share some thoughts on morning sickness & offers some answers to the question at least two thirds of pregnant women ask themselves at one point or another during their pregnancy– why is morning sickness so awful? 

Take it away Jenn-myster.

Editor’s note: Like Jenny, I have had particularly rough pregnancies–you can read more about it, here. And if you’re one of those lucky ones who doesn’t get sick, I hate you. Just kidding. (Kinda.)

 

Have you ever wondered why you think you know everything?

I mean, we all say that we don’t know everything, but let’s be real.

We think we know everything. This is particularly true of women and specifically those of child-bearing age. We know it all. We can even predict the future and say with utmost confidence a long list of things we will never do, say, feel, wear, drive, etc.

I remember when I found out I was pregnant with my first child.

The first thing I looked up in that horrific book, What to Expect When You’re Expecting (which would be more aptly named, Things to Keep You Awake at Night Worrying), was morning sickness. I hate vomit. No, I know, no one likes vomit. But you don’t understand. Vomit terrifies me. If you said to me, “Jenny, I can cut off your foot or you can vomit once”, I would legitimately have to think about it. I. Hate. Vomit. Thus morning sickness was a top research priority.

After a thorough study of the topic, I made the informed and highly educated decision that I was not going to get morning sickness.

I was going to exercise, sleep with my windows open, eat a balanced diet and have a positive attitude.

Morning sickness, schmorning sickness. I would sail through the first trimester with a healthy glow and a peace of mind, body and spirit. This was going to be amazing.

Life is a humbling little booger, ain’t she?

I was roughly seven weeks pregnant when it hit me. And when I say hit, I mean that it crashed into my body like a hormone-laden sledge hammer, pounded the life from my body, backed up, dropped and rolled over my corpse and then repeated.

This brutalization took place with every single one of my pregnancies. Thus, having a bit of a track record, I thought I’d set the records straight and tell you the truth. Pure, unadulterated, truth.

Morning sickness sucks. A lot.

And there is precious little that I, or anyone, can do to save you.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m here anytime you want to cry, scream, simultaneously puke, cry some more. I genuinely mean that. I’ve got your back. But me having your back? It won’t save you either. I’m sorry.

With that in mind, though I don’t exactly know why morning sickness is so awful, I do know what you actually need to know about morning sickness.

 

5 truths about morning sickness

 

1. It doesn’t care how in shape you are, how well you eat, how young or old you are.

If it wants to be your best friend, you’re stuck with it. You cannot outwit it.

This is actually a really liberating concept. Morning sickness is not a sign of anything you are doing wrong. It’s not. I promise.

You are doing everything you can so give yourself permission to be sick without feeling guilty or like you need to fix it. You can’t fix it. The sooner you embrace this, the better off you will be.

 

2. Most everything you read about morning sickness is complete and utter nonsense.

Please don’t pay attention to the “normal” path of morning sickness.

It can strike at any point and it goes away when it’s good and ready. It’s like your grandma except evil.

No one, no one tells morning sickness what to do. Trying to anticipate what path this hormonal tornado will follow will only bring you heartache.

 

3. Not all morning sickness is created equally.

I wish it had a ranking scale, some way for us to distinguish between the mildly queasy or occasional gag while brushing teeth and the progesterone poisoning that can only be described as the seventh circle of hell.

Alas, it doesn’t. It all goes by the same name. Please, please, please keep this in mind.

Just because sucking on peppermints or taking a walk around the park kept your cookies where they sat, does not mean that it will help your friend who is busy cooling her face on the bathroom floor.

And actually, suggesting she try those things will probably just irritate her. If she is that sick you can believe that she has tried every potential remedy in the books. She has googled. I promise you. So skip the tips and just come do her dishes.

 

4. Eat what sounds good.

If you do happen to be on the more extreme end of the spectrum, eat whatever the heck sounds appealing (& don’t feel guilty about it!).

Don’t worry about whether you are eating organic vegetables. I promise your baby and your body would rather you eat Twinkies than starve because you’re throwing up the quinoa salad you choked down. Eat the Twinkies. Just do it. There is one exception to this rule. Spaghetti. Don’t do it. Ever.

 

 5. It won’t last forever.

No matter how awful it is, I promise, no I pinky promise (and I don’t throw those around lightly) that it won’t last forever. You will feel better. You will. You will eat and drink and walk and talk and put on real clothes. It’s going to happen. You have my word.

 

So yes, it’s awful and no, there is no magical cure. And guess what? It will be worth every, single, horrible moment.

That baby you’re growing? Worth it.

I’m not going to say you’ll forget. You won’t and I actually get pretty crabby when people tell me that I will or have. Who could forget having their insides beaten like a tetherball for months on end?

You don’t forget you just recognize that it is a small price to pay for the amazing gift that is motherhood. Not saying you have to like it.

In fact, I give you permission to throw darts at the pictures of all your friends who do manage to breeze through that first trimester with not so much as a hint of nausea.

But this is a battle worth fighting–it’s worth it.. And remembering this might be the only thing that actually helps you get through it all.

♥

Can you relate to Jen? I know I can, & I second every one of her points (especially point number one!). Long time readers of this blog know how awful the first half of my pregnancies are (read how to gain 15 pounds in 2 months or pregnant superwoman–NOT).

If you are pregnant, or have been pregnant & enjoyed the highs & lows (mostly lows) of morning sickness, please chime in with your thoughts & experiences!

 

Other posts by Jenny:

• feeding kids: don’t sweat the small stuff
• breastfeeding in public debate — why current debates are missing the mark

  
  
  Jenny is a wife, mom and self-proclaimed vampire expert (& currently 27 weeks pregnant with her seventh child).

  If she's not scraping children off the ceiling or smooching her hubby, she's probably curled up with a tub of Blue Bell Lemon Bliss ice cream and a book (not the enlightening kind but the swoony, immature, urban fantasy kind).

  She is passionate about motherhood, her family, her church & chocolate. She currently resides in Richmond, Virginia with her crazy family, a bearded rabbit & a very lazy cat.