Expensive Habits: Dating My Husband

DSCF9925(Look! My hair, so blonde, so short. In August 2010–3 months pregnant with Salem & he still can carry me! What a strong man.)

I mentioned last week that I was stoked because we had tickets to an Air Force ball.

The thing is, these things cost money–I mean, lots, if you’re living in my world.

$40 per ticket + babysitting.

Add that to the fact that I didn’t have anything to wear. No, I don’t have a pregnancy formal, or actually, any formal for that matter–I got rid of all my prom/beauty pageant dresses (did I ever mention I was royalty for my town in high school? I was.) in college.

Our current date budget for each month is $125.

We never touch our date budget. It’s sacred territory. Joseph & I both know that if dates go, so does our sanity, our love, the zest of our marriage. Dates don’t have to be expensive or even super-planned out, but there has to be a sitter (otherwise, I’m falling asleep on the couch while we watch something on Netflix) so we can go out, somewhere. In our 9 years of marriage, we’ve never cut date money, even when others maybe would have suggested we should.

We can’t afford to go out every week, but we try to manage it so that we can go out a few times a month, maybe to dinner once. When we lived in Utah, we often went to these bargain priced shows at BYU. Plus there’s was always free artsy stuff going on downtown. *Sigh.*

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But back here, in San Antonio, we’ve discovered it’s not quite the art haven that we’re used to. We’ve been to the art museum, the Alamo, the Natural history/science museum. But as for plays/concerts, they’re not cheap, & they’re not plentiful. Thus we have to get creative.

So back to the military ball. Joseph called me from work, about a week before the event.

“We have to go to this ball.”

“Really? That sounds like so much fun.”

“It cost $40 per ticket.”

After I picked my jaw off the floor ($40 isn’t much if you’re not paying $2K a month in debt, but that’s not us), I said, “Really?? Do we have to go?”

“That’s the thing, I don’t want to, but apparently everyone in my office is going.”

It was one of those things where “the whole office was going.” So we decided, if we must, we must. We’ll just suck it up & go (& frankly, I LOVE any/all fancy schmancy social events).

Joseph bought the tickets.

Then, things happened. He learned he had to buy a $50 add on to his mess-dress (the equivalent of a military tux) to indicate he was now a captain. And I didn’t have anything to wear. I was going to make do with a black skirt & formalish black maternity top & a pearl necklace. When we added up the costs, I was starting to sweat–we were looking at $80 for tickets, $40 for babysitter, $50 for uniform stuff, which added up to, way more money than we wanted to spend.

Fortunately, a way out was provided. Joseph learned that many of his co-workers weren’t actually going (therefore, it was not in fact, mandatory). He was able to sell his tickets.

We still had the babysitter & we figured we were planning on spending a bunch of money, so why not go out & spend a bit more than usual, it would still be a far cry from $170-$180.

So we:

1. Went to PF Changs (one our faves because we can both order what we want & leave satisfied) for dinner
2. Window shopped around a beautiful outdoor mall & stopped by Teavanna (I’m addicted to their herbal infusions), drank all the free samples I could muster without being a completely shameless freeloader, & bought 4 oz. of tea (herbal infusion)
3. Went to Sur la table (warning, don’t go there if you love kitchen ware–you will want everything, & it’s not cheap!) & had so much fun being amused by all the absolutely ridiculous/charming/nonessential & tempting gadgets & cookware. Joseph did buy a wooden rolling pin on clearance–we’ve been needing one–& a ridiculous robot shaped ice cube holder (also on clearance) for our kids
4. Went home, our kids were in bed, & we watched “The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance” (Have you seen it? I love Jimmy Stewart. John Wayne’s not bad either.)

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Between the babysitter, the dinner, & the shopping, we spent most of our monthly budget for dates, in one night. But that was okay.

We got out, we did something we both actually really wanted to do (Joseph had no desire to go to the ball), & for a few hours, it was just us.

Do you have scheduled date nights? a date budget? how much do you spend a month on dates (food/babysitter/tickets)? Do share. 

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P.S. Thanks for all your suggestions on FB regarding my cold! Last night I guzzled apple cider vinegar, took a very hot shower, put a warm mist humidifier in our bedroom, & went to sleep around 9 pm.

But then around 1:45 am I just could not sleep (you know how it is when you’re all clogged up). Also, I really wanted some fresh squeezed orange juice. There’s a grocery store down the way that sells some amazing stuff so I got in the car (at 2 am, yes) & drove there. But it was closed, wouldn’t ya know. So I went Wally-world, which for all it’s drawbacks, does keep it’s doors open 24 hours, so I stocked up on OJ, garlic cloves, & fresh ginger. I went home, made myself some garlic tea, took in about 500% of my daily value of vitamin C via the OJ, & then, I was–wide awake. Feeling sorta like crap, & WIDE AWAKE at 2:30 am. So I’ve been up ever since. I don’t understand why insomnia & colds go hand in hand, but there it is.


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