Missing Home & No-bake gluten-free chocolate cookies

My days look something like this.

I wake up (usually around 6:30).

I get dressed & ready in 10 minutes.

I make lunches & oversee the breakfast eating.

I kiss Joseph goodbye.

I send the boys off to the bus.

I walk Mali to school. I eat breakfast & read the NY Times while Salem watches Caliou.

I tidy up the house.

I play with Salem–we read, draw, play with blocks.

I pick up Mali from school & we walk home.

I make her a peanut butter & jelly sandwich for lunch.

I put Salem down for a nap.

I do the dishes.

I help Mali with her “homework” from preschool.

We read books, play barbies.

The boys come home from school.

I help them get an after school snack. We talk about their day.

I help them vacuum or put the dishes away.

We go for a walk , or to the park, or to the pool & swim.

I start dinner.

Joseph comes home.

We eat, then we clean up dinner.

Then baths, pajamas, teeth, stories, & kids to bed.

I read until my eyes get droopy or I watch an episode of Friday Night Lights while I drink rooibos tea.

Joseph & I talk (& other stuff, too).

I fall asleep.

Last night, though, I couldn’t fall asleep.

Our old house, our home in Provo haunted me.

I couldn’t stop thinking about living there, about our yard, those daffodils that bloom the last 2 weeks in April. Tulips, then the lilacs in May. The way the trees shaded our yard. My garden, the grass that is soft & green (unlike the weeds that they call grass, here in Texas). The way I’d open up all the windows to air out the house & sunlight & breeze would filter through. The way I’d leave the front & back doors open. I love that porch, the way Joseph & I would spend cool, summer evenings, talking in the dark. I love the old walls, the high ceilings, those french doors. I even love how the floor of the hallway to the back door slopes the tiniest bit.

We have lovely renters there now. And, hopefully, someday, although we’ll have outgrown the house, once Joseph is done with the military, we’ll live there again. I feel like that place is a part of who I am, a part of our family.

Don’t get me wrong.

There are so many good things about living here in San Antonio. I feel blessed to live in a beautiful, large, new home. But, try as I might to make it feel like home, it will never be our Provo home.

You know, I just miss it. I miss my home.

I made these cookies last night.

After swimming & dinner, Joseph helped the kids clean out our car. I wanted something chocolatey for our Monday family night treat. I recall no-bake cookies being one of my more favorite things to eat, but it’s been ages since I actually made them. A traditional no-bake peanut butter, chocolate cookie is loaded with sugar & fat (duh, that’s why they taste so good). This is a lighter version, with a dark chocolate taste. I also like the addition of powdered sugar, reminds me a bit of Mexican wedding cakes (without the gluten!).

I adapted this recipe from Gina. I added more sweetener (it tasted too “dark” otherwise), used vegan Smart Balance, used real peanut butter, used old-fashioned oats instead of quick, & flattened my cookies (creates more surface area for powdered sugar).

♥♥♥

Have you ever deeply connected with a place?