how-to lists make me crazy

Does anyone else get tired of lists? You know, the way that you get tired of zucchini at the end of summer?

I’m talking:

7 ways to improve your marriage.
10 ways to get more organized.
5 lipsticks every woman should own.

Women’s mags are notorious for overdoing it on the lists.

This month’s O magazine cover (no, I didn’t buy an O magazine last time I was the supermarket checkout line. okay, maybe I did–shhh, don’t tell Joseph) reads: “5 breakthroughs that will boost your health,” “101 best pieces of advice–Ever!”, “5 Rules to Live By,” “5 things Not To Do With Your Money.”

Reminds of another how-to list I ran across recently.

The list: 55 gentle ways to take care of yourself when you’re busy, busy, busy.

Here’s the thing, I think it’s a good list, as lists go.

(Really it is…you should check it out.)

I have no disrespect for said creator of the list, but I’m going to point out the obvious here–if I’m busy, busy, busy, I’m not going to have time to read a list of 55 things (why not at least cut it down to something manageable, say like 10, why 55?) & then do them. Talk about added stress! Also, I don’t think this list applies to mom’s with babies & preschoolers (or homeschooling moms, for that matter).

Here’s a little dose of mom-reality.

♦ Take 5-minute mini-breaks every hour. How pray-tell, do I take a break from the little people who’ve (happily) taken over my life? If you have any creative ideas for how to do this with small kids, I’d love to know all your secrets.
♦ Walk everywhere. Don’t I wish!
♦ Make a plan of everything that needs to be done. Everything? How detailed is this plan?? Do I want to have a nervous breakdown?! I’m starting to hyper-ventilate now.
♦ Make room for rest. I will rest when I’m dead, said the temporary single mother of 4.
♦ Spend your lunchtime as sacred you-time. You mean, between the melt-downs about how my 4 year old doesn’t want to eat the crust on her PB & J, or when my 18 month old is flinging her applesauce across the kitchen? Or when my 5 & 7 year olds are wrestling on the floor instead of sitting at the table & eating like the prim & proper boys that only exist in my dreams? Oh, you mean that time.