You know, it’s funny being married.
Your spouse knows you better than almost anyone. They see the excellent, the annoying, the funny, the ugly, & the embarrassing. They see it all, & have to put up with a lot. And, like a well-worn pair of shoes, it’s easy to take your spouse for granted.
To avoid the apathy bug in a marriage, I’ve found it’s important to look for ways to be a better spouse, for your spouse.
Here are two ways that I’ve been thinking about lately. I am by no means an expert, so please add to the conversation, in the comments below. I’d love to hear what works for you.
1) Find something you both enjoy. And do it together. Even if it means a bit of sacrifice.
Joseph really, really likes movies.
I’m not like Joseph, who can watch the same movie over & over.
I’d like to think I have more discerning tastes. (I know. I’m a snob.) I look for character driven movies, which are hard to come by. A moving music score is helpful, but not mandatory. Joseph likes almost any movie. He loves rom-coms more than I do. A Nicholas Spark’s movie? He’s totally in. Me, I go into those sort of movies with a healthy dose of skepticism, but more often than not, enjoy myself. It’s hard to satisfy his love for movies & my high-brow, hoity-toity taste.
Last night Joseph & I went to a midnight showing of The Dark Knight.
Image from: Theater of the Mind Blog
As I mentioned on FB today, the movie was everything I hoped it would be & more. It’s my favorite of the Batman movies, for sure.
Dark Knight was, well, really dark. Heath Ledger’s Joker was disturbing. So real, it was too much for me to watch. Dark Knight Rises however, is also dark (it’s Batman, after all), but continues the plot development of Batman Begins, & brings satisfying closure to some of the story line that originated in the first movie of the trilogy. It’s not a “happy” movie by any means, but the ending was redeeming, feel-good, without being dishonest.
Batman is a character of contrasts, dealing with a lot of pain, loss, & darkness. He’s appealing to me because he overcomes his fear, despair, & intense opposition, while clinging to values of integrity & a moral right, against the worst kinds of evil.
It’s safe to say Dark Knight Rises is now on my faves list, up there with Legends of the Fall, Out of Africa, As Good as Gets, You’ve Got Mail, Citizen Kane, & A Beautiful Mind.
Sure, I got 3 hours of sleep last night. But Joseph & I got to sit next to each other, hold hands, & really be taken in by a movie we both enjoyed.
2) Find thoughtful ways to surprise each other.
I’ve got the surprise part down pat, due to to my unpredictable, spontaneous nature.
Joseph has the thoughtful part down, & does it daily.
He made me this for breakfast.
Gluten-free, non-dairy french toast, topped with fresh raspberries (we still have a bundle in the freezer), quick tofu topping, & pure maple syrup.
Here’s the recipe. It’s super easy.
Whisk 1 c. fresh squeezed orange juice (I love this brand, when fresh oranges aren’t “in season”), 1/4 c. white rice flour & 1 tsp. cinnamon.
Dip gluten-free &/or whole grain bread in orange juice mixture, until both sides are coated. Careful though, since gluten-free bread tends to be quite fragile.
Cook on non-stick or cast iron skillet. About 2-3 minutes on both sides, or until crispy.
For a quick tofu topping: take 1 box Mori-Nu silken tofu & combine with 2 tsp. lemon juice & 1 packet stevia or 1 tsp. sweetener of choice. Blend in food processor until smooth.
Super easy, right?
I love when Joseph surprises me by cooking foods that he doesn’t like (or would never eat, quite frankly) but he knows I like. The other night he made us dinner & he made me & the kids our own personal pizzas. He made sure my pizza was on a gluten-free crust & custom made it to my liking. Shows that he is mindful of my needs & is interested in finding little ways to do unexpected acts of kindness. So important in a healthy relationship.
♥♥♥
What things do you do to help you be a better spouse?
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