Over a big bowl of oatmeal this morning, I amused myself by reading the Dear Abby column in my local newspaper.
One of the questions posed was of particular interest to me.
Reader #1 writes that her two nieces are vegan and at her brother’s request last year, everyone was to bring vegan dishes to the Thanksgiving dinner. Naturally, she didn’t like this arrangement and didn’t want to do it again this year. So her question was, what should be done and is it reasonable for her to feel this way? Good ol‘ Abby (who in reality, is actually Jeanne Phillips) responds with, tell your brother and his daughters that, “you’ll be serving a traditional Thanksgiving dinner this year, so they can either bring something they will enjoy or make other plans.”
Call me crazy, but I think most vegans are okay with going to a “mixed” dinner–where vegan and non-vegan dishes are served. I have a hard time thinking that there are actually vegans out there who only associate with other vegans and only go to vegan-food only parties, or insist that their non-vegan family members eat only vegan food at family get-togethers. Maybe this works in NYC or San Francisco, but where I’m from, I’d be completely friendless and alienate much of my family if this was my approach!
I’ve gotta say… (tune out now, if you don’t like soap box ranting) if you’re vegan, and you’d like others to have a positive experience/view of veganism, be an accommodating and gracious guest. Bring vegan dishes to share with others whenever you’re invited to dinner, especially if it’s a significant cultural holiday like Thanksgiving dinner. But whatever you do, don’t insist that everyone eat the way you do. Human nature does not approve of this approach, and you’ll potentially end up alienating and angering friends and family.
Bring the tantalizing, colorful, vibrant vegan dish to share and show others that being vegan is NOT about rigidness, depravity, or forcing others to think like you. Let the turkey eating people enjoy their turkey. And let’s all just enjoy the holiday and remember that Thanksgiving is about much more than food. Isn’t it mostly about giving thanks and showing gratitude for all that we have and are, not who eats what?
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