Here’s a question: when is it appropriate to “come out of the closet” and declare yourself a vegan? The answer depends on you.
I think people assume that just because you’re vegan all your friends are, or you live in a little vegan community or something. I think this is funny because aside from my sister and two of my friends, I don’t personally know any other vegans, so I don’t know what the experiences of others have been.
Here’s what mine has been.
As I’ve said before, I initially tried out a plant based diet, that wasn’t entirely vegan all of the time, during my second pregnancy. I did this because I felt it imperative for my health and the health of my baby (thanks to the constant encouragement of my midwives).
I was glad I had an excuse to use when I told people I wasn’t eating meat because I wanted to avoid high blood pressure during my pregnancy. It was a great cloak to hide behind, especially because I was really self-concious and didn’t want people to badger, lecture, or tell me what I was doing was weird, wrong, crazy. And during much of this time I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted to be vegan for life. I wasn’t sure I could make that commitment, as it seemed to be, at the time.
As time progressed and I naturally transitioned my mind, body, and spirit towards a more holstic approach to diet, I realized that I loved the way I felt. I mean, I felt alive. And vibrant, and confident. Not only about my food choices, but these feelings of empowerment really transcended over to other aspects of my life.
It’s hard to know exactly when I decided that I wanted to be vegan. I had told people it was just the diet I was on during the pregnancy, but just before I had my second child (about 2 weeks before), I realized I needed to get off the fence and make a decision. And at this point I had too much knowledge. Theoritically (I had read The China Study, Sugar Blues, and Mad Cowboy and did quite a bit of research online) and practically (for nearly 6 or 7 months my diet had been a gradual progression to a purely vegan diet). My mind knew and my body knew what was right.
Yet I was still scared to declare anything. Partly because I was afraid I would go back to being an omnivore, and I felt that saying something like, “I’m vegan” was very different than “I eat a vegan diet” or “I try to eat a vegan diet.” The second suggests some partiality and deviation based on whims and feelings or social situations while the first means long-term commitment, a sort of declaration of a certain philosophy of life.
So about 2 weeks after I had my baby, I remember being apart from my husband and calling him on the phone to tell him that I was vegan. He said, “Yah, I know.” I replied, “No really, I mean it. I’m going to be vegan and I’m going to tell people that.” From that point on, I was vegan. I decided I wouldn’t make any exceptions deliberately. So no butter in my cookies, or eggs in my cake. Here are a few observations I’ve had since then.
The first year of declaring my veganness were the most difficult for me simply because everything was so new, and to use a phrase of a fellow blogger, I felt like a “poser.” I mean, I didn’t have all the answers (and I still don’t) but I felt like people expected me to. And I always felt slightly awkward going over to friends or families houses and having to explain my new way of eating. Not just for myself but for my children as well (which gets even trickier especially as well meaning individuals like to give “non-kosher” treats like cheese and cupcakes and ice cream at every turn).
So I sort of stumbled my way through, learning lessons along the way. Like, it’s much better to be up front and clear. And don’t be so serious. Have a sense of humor and lightness about it, especially when people are clearly defensive. I have to admit this was the hardest for me personally to take, because I naturally want to get defensive, especially about the choices I make. And I felt like at every gathering I had to defend my new food choices. But really, turns out, most people are just curious. And I would have to say that the harshest critics tend to be family. Now, I’m very grateful to say that for the most part, my extended family is supportive and if nothing else, just polite about me and my kids being vegan.
I cannot deny that I felt social and familial pressures to conform. I mean, I was really concerned with what others thought of me, how I would have to constantly defend myself and the choices I was making for my family, and how I might be different from everyone else. These are all very valid and real concerns. That said, it’s interesting now, to look back and see how all of these concerns seemed huge and important to me at the time, but now are seemingly insignificant. It’s hard to believe that I almost let my perception of what other people might think of me affect some of the most crucial factors in my health and happiness as well as that of my family.
Now that I have a couple of years under my belt, I usually don’t have a second thought about the way I eat. I mean, this is the way that I eat and the way my kids eat. It’s normal for us. It’s like looking at someone who is a marathon runner and saying, “How do you do it? I mean isn’t it so weird that you run that much? That must be so hard and you’re so disciplined, ect.” Obviously to that runner it’s not weird. They enjoy it, and it might take some discipline, but they’re probably pretty good at running by now that they don’t put to much thought into getting up every day and doing it. They love the way it makes them feel, they know the benefits, and like most uber-runners, they couldn’t see their lives without it.
Another thing. I didn’t initially become vegan because of animal rights or environmental reasons. I did it for me, as selfish as that sounds. Over time, however, I have seen the truth behind what factory farming is really like (obscene, to say the least, watch this if you don’t believe me) as well as come to believe that our bodies are not nutritionally dependent upon animals so why cause unnecessary suffering and cruelty? I’ve said this before, if we all were forced to slaughter all of the meat we consumed, this world would have a lot more vegetarians. And as for the environmental reasons, I think they are equally compelling, but still not the primary reason why I am vegan.
I cannot imagine what my life would be like had I not made the decision to become vegan, but I can take a few guesses. I’d be 40 lbs. heavier than I am now. I’d probably spend more time being sick; have less time to devote to those things that I enjoy in life like my family, friends, and church activities; have less energy and confidence; experience a myriad of unwanted symptoms like bloating, constipation, indigestion, sluggishness, ect. In short, my life would be very different than what it is now.
So if you’re considering implementing a vegan diet, no worries. You don’t have to “declare” anything right now. Just move in a more healthful and compassionate direction of eating and living, going at the pace that your mind and body are willing to go. When the time is right, after experience and educating yourself, you’ll know. Just give it a chance, and it will all work out.
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