I desperately want to return to regularly blogging.
Life has been nothing but one event after another, and I feel like I must keep treading water or else the minute I stop I’ll drown in a pile of laundry and dishes. I thought I was busy with three kids. Adding a fourth to the mix…That has proved to really push the boundaries of our time and energy. But we adore the newest addition to our family and wouldn’t want it any other way.
Last week we had a bit of scare. First my husband got into a car accident. Not his fault. He was hit twice. The first time, he was hit by some poor sap who lost control on the snowy freeway. Didn’t do too much damage, but as J, my husband was waiting for the state patrol to show up, he got hit again (while he was in the car), this time by a semi-truck who smashed up the entire side of the mini-van. Luckily, or as we think, by divine intervention, J was not hurt in the slightest, despite the car being totaled.
Then, the day after that, we had to take Salem to the hospital. Where she stayed for the next six days. A few weeks ago, my other daughter had the flu, a pretty bad case. Stuffy nose, cough, fever, all of that. Then my sons got it. Then of course, I got it. All the while, I had been doing everything in my power to shield my newborn from outsiders, not taking her anywhere, and despite my best efforts, she gets sick from me. A little disheartening. At first it started out as just a runny nose, then progressed to include a cough. Her appetite began to lag, she progressively became more lethargic. After about the third day of her sickness, my mom (who has been staying with us to help out) and I became concerned about all of the red flags, particularly, the fact that her color was not good. Her skin took on a bluish, grey tint. She had trouble breathing.
We took her into the E.R. (we had gone to the pediatrician the day before, who hadn’t seemed too concerned and said to just “watch it”), after my brother-in-law, who happens to be a paramedic, urged us to do so based on the above circumstances. Once there, we found out that her oxygen level was only at about 70%. Above 90% is considered “safe.” This would explain the poor coloring. They put her on oxygen and immediately her color improved. She was tested, and it was determined she was RSV positive and had a pneumonia (or a collapsed portion of a lung, they weren’t entirely sure). We spent the next six days in the hospital, and are finally home. She is doing remarkably better. Eating like a horse, and acting like a normal baby. I don’t want to even think about what might have happened had we not taken her into the hospital. In addition to the oxygen, they gave her respiratory treatments, suctioning her nasal passage and throat. I also applied essential oils to her chest, back and feet and used a diffuser with the same oils, which seemed to help.
On a side note I’m so glad to be back home where I can make and eat my own vegan food. Since I am nursing, at the hospital, I was brought meals from the cafeteria. I specified that I was vegetarian and ate no eggs/dairy, thinking this would be pretty clear to them (there are very few vegans where I live, and many people don’t even know what the term means). Somehow they didn’t get that since I would get meals with both of those items. So then I said vegan, which they seemed to get and the meals, though bland, were decent enough. Funny though, I still got some variation of jello with whipped cream with every meal (even breakfast).
On a different topic. Weight loss. I hate losing weight. I HATE the process of losing weight. It takes too much time, in my opinion. I want to lose all the weight, right now, please. I think I’m not the only one who feels this way. Fad/Lose weight quick(!) diets sell like hotcakes because it appeals to our general desire for immediate gratification.
I figured, between my four kids, I have gained 160 pounds, or 40 pounds with each pregnancy, over the last five years. Fortunately, I lost all of my baby weight and more after each of my first three kids. I was 70 pounds lighter (than what I weighed when I had my first) after having my second child. Having gained my typical 40 pounds with this pregnancy, I have about 25 pounds to lose. Have I mentioned, I hate losing weight? This is my fourth time around doing it, so you’d think it would get easier. But it doesn’t get easier or funner.
I realized though, that it’s more of a mental game with me. I have to switch my attitude about food, and make the weight loss game into, well, a game, rather than torture, which is what I’m apt to do. I hate constantly thinking about what I “can” and “can’t” eat. I hate calculating calories, being restrictive. Pretty much I hate what most every other person hates: restraint and self-control. I want to eat what I want to eat, and I don’t want to have to think too much about it. Since the way I eat is already pretty ideal, I have to put my attention into the minute details of my diet. I’ve used various approaches: the McDougall MWL (maximum weight loss), Dr. Furhman’s program, used the CRON-o-Meter. It doesn’t really matter the approach as long as a calorie deficit exists on a consistent and long-term basis. I already have the exercise thing down, and I am nursing, which both, help me to burn a lot of calories. That said, doing both of these things stimulates my appetite and if I my caloric intake dips too low when I’m nursing I get tired, cold, and cranky.
I have 25 pounds to lose to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I’m aiming for a reasonable amount of weight loss each week, about 1-2 pounds. This means, if I average 1.5 pounds a week (a calorie deficit of 5250 a week, or 750 per day) I’ll be back to my pre-pregnancy in weight in about 4 months. Seems like a long time. But I have to remind myself, this is how it has worked every time. Sustainable, healthy weight loss takes time. This is why we all hate it, get discouraged, and many people want to give up (and do). It takes diligence, patience, and consistency.
I’ve decided to try a slightly different, new approach with my weight loss this time around. I am doing something I never thought I’d do as part of my weight loss journey (don’t worry, it’s not a liquid diet or lipo). I’ll share those details in an upcoming post. Also, I haven’t forgotten, I need to share my birth story, also coming up. Stay posted.