Guilt. Food. Happy Holidays.

I should be cleaning right now.

Do you ever have those, “I should be _____ right now?” It doesn’t matter what I’m doing, but I more often than not have that annoying little thought pester me.

Call me a woman, I suppose. Guilt about everything. Isn’t that the truth.

Speaking of guilt. I’ve been thinking so much about this blog. I frequently get emails from some of you. About what to eat. Or about being a Mormon and vegan. Or what type of B-12 supplement you should take. I enjoy these. Thanks. And I’m sorry if I haven’t responded yet to your email, or responded quickly enough. I have guilt about this.

It’s been about 10 months since baby #4. I basically lost all my baby weight by month 5ish (July?). Since then, it’s been a roller coaster ride. Sometimes I beat myself up over worrying about weight. But I’m not gonna lie. I love food. I hate food. I wanna stay in my skinny jeans. It’s a battle.

I do really well with goals. Like when I had the goal of losing 25 pounds after baby #4. Once I have something to work towards, I’m good to go. I’m driven, I’m focused. I’m good with extremes. But once I’ve accomplished something, I’m like, now what? I can do overeating, I can do undereating (to lose weight). But maintance eating? That’s another story. You may be thinking I’ve been gaining large amounts of weight since losing it. No. I go up a few pounds. Down a few pounds. And I let it bother me. When I was losing weight, in a way, it was easy. I knew what I had to do (eat less, eat lower calorie foods). When I don’t have to lose weight, it’s hard to know the balance sometimes.

Thoughts on this, dear blog reader, especially during the holiday season?


  1. Colette
    on December 19, 2011 at 3:45 pm said:

    Stretch jeans. That is one of my secrets! ๐Ÿ™‚ The other thing is no scale! I never weigh myself. I have my jeans and if they get too tight I know I am eating too many treats and not getting enough exercise. One thing I've gained from reaching 40 is a love of who I am and less stress about how "thin" I am. Sure I am approximately 15 lbs heavier than when I graduated high school, but that's okay! I've born five children. I've lived through the stress of raising these five children for the past 21 years, along with a husband who has had a commission job for 20 of those years. I try to eat healthy and regularly exercise. Could I be more toned and fit? Heck yes! (That's for my Utah friends! :)) And I am working on it. But I am not obsessing about it. I have friends who have been on the losing weight and keeping it off wagon all their lives. They are in their 50's and still consumed with fat content and calories. I don't want to live my life that way. My mantra is "Eat healthy. Exercise. Be at peace with my body." God gave it to me – even my mother's behind! I am NOT my physical body. I am so much more than that. That is what I focus on. Love you!!

  2. Karen
    on December 14, 2011 at 6:17 pm said:

    My mother sent me your blog a long time ago and I just now got around to visiting! Looking forward to keeping up with you. I have been a vegetarian or vegan my entire life and LDS at the same time….living in the Midwest since I was 11 years old. ;)I'm struggling with overeating and not eating as healthy as I should. I'm in the second trimester with my second child and it seems like the only time I can eat what I want and not gain a massive amount of weight (20 weeks of morning sickness didn't help, either!). Though I know my health and possibly my waistline after baby, will pay for it!

  3. Deja
    on December 14, 2011 at 2:48 pm said:

    My new soapbox is to read Geneen Roth's Women, Food, and God. Well written, and she gets at the heart of what I think all this guilt is about. For me, the only way I can eat like a "normal"-ish person is to get to the other side of feeling deprivation and/or entitlement. In other words, diets, and the reverse/backlash from them, are the enemy. In my opinion, anyway …

  4. Elise
    on December 12, 2011 at 7:10 pm said:

    I don't have any advice. But I like to hear your posts. Thanks for writing. I missed you! And… don't feel guilty. Be the one woman out there that doesn't. Do it for the rest of us. ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. Sarah
    on December 12, 2011 at 3:44 pm said:

    i overeat when i'm thinking about food too much. this includes thinking about not overeating again. does that make sense? it's just a cycle and you give in when you've got it on your mind too much. i find when i just relax and focus instead on my true hunger signals and trust my body things go much better. oh, and i don't own a scale! i get enough info from how my clothes fit. then i don't stress over the numbers.

  6. Anonymous
    on December 11, 2011 at 4:59 pm said:

    I think the small weight fluctuations up or down are normal. I try to stick to whole plant foods, eat when i'm hungry, and stop when I'm satisfied. I tend to eat the same way, whether holiday or the daily grind, so that eliminates some of the angst for me. I am content with very simple food and I actually really prefer to eat my usual daily fare rather than treats. That's just me though, i know some people would feel deprived eating this way. It is great to see you posting again. Hope you enjoy the weekend with your family!Take carelfwfv

  7. cherelli
    on December 11, 2011 at 6:16 am said:

    hmmm, I've found over the years that "overeating" is made worse by guilt, that sometimes you have to just accept those little weight fluctuations knowing what they are…sure you're up a pound or two or three…but it'll come back off in the next week or two as life gets busy again, it's just the natural flow. It's ok, just be happy to eat healthy 80-90% of the time outside the little indulgences! Hope to hear more from you soon, love your blog!