I should be cleaning right now.
Do you ever have those, “I should be _____ right now?” It doesn’t matter what I’m doing, but I more often than not have that annoying little thought pester me.
Call me a woman, I suppose. Guilt about everything. Isn’t that the truth.
Speaking of guilt. I’ve been thinking so much about this blog. I frequently get emails from some of you. About what to eat. Or about being a Mormon and vegan. Or what type of B-12 supplement you should take. I enjoy these. Thanks. And I’m sorry if I haven’t responded yet to your email, or responded quickly enough. I have guilt about this.
It’s been about 10 months since baby #4. I basically lost all my baby weight by month 5ish (July?). Since then, it’s been a roller coaster ride. Sometimes I beat myself up over worrying about weight. But I’m not gonna lie. I love food. I hate food. I wanna stay in my skinny jeans. It’s a battle.
I do really well with goals. Like when I had the goal of losing 25 pounds after baby #4. Once I have something to work towards, I’m good to go. I’m driven, I’m focused. I’m good with extremes. But once I’ve accomplished something, I’m like, now what? I can do overeating, I can do undereating (to lose weight). But maintance eating? That’s another story. You may be thinking I’ve been gaining large amounts of weight since losing it. No. I go up a few pounds. Down a few pounds. And I let it bother me. When I was losing weight, in a way, it was easy. I knew what I had to do (eat less, eat lower calorie foods). When I don’t have to lose weight, it’s hard to know the balance sometimes.
Thoughts on this, dear blog reader, especially during the holiday season?