UPDATE: For a follow-up to this post read, 15 month post-baby update: how to find your natural weight (without losing your mind).
It’s been awhile since my last weight loss update.
As ya’ll know, I took the summer off from posting, then have taken my time getting back to the rhythm of things. But I suppose it’s time for another update.
If you haven’t followed my weight loss journey (you can do so, here), here’s the gist of it:
I gained lots & lots of fat weight with my fifth pregnancy.
After I had the baby, I weighed in at 204 lbs. (I’m 5’9″). I also had gestational diabetes during my pregnancy (which I have no doubts contributed greatly to the excess weight), which puts me at higher risk of developing diabetes later in life.
SO, the short story is, I had about 60 or so pounds to lose to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight, which is one of the many preventative measures I can take to keep myself healthy & diabetes free.
As of the end of May, I had lost 35 lbs.
During the summer, I stopped tracking my food & was lot more casual & laid back about what I ate & my exercise was consistent but wasn’t very challenging. I still kept to the principles in the FSL approach, but it wasn’t forefront on my mind.
Basically, I had other priorities (like taking care of my five kids all day & dealing with getting treatment after a car accident). But, despite my more laid back approach, by the end of July, I was somewhere between 160-165 lbs. Since then I’ve stagnated & maintained, & you know what, I think I’m okay with this.
Sure, a lot of my old jeans still don’t fit me, & many are still tight, BUT, I’m at a healthy weight. My BMI is no longer in the overweight category. I can move without feeling like I’m lugging around 40 extra pounds.
The thing is, at my thinnest point, I was exercising several times a day (as a professional fitness instructor), doing lots of gardening & lawn work, & taking care of my young kids. Pretty much I never stopped moving. I was the pinnacle of fitness. At 18% body fat, I was strong, could run 5 or 10 miles without blinking an eye, & my abs were rock solid (even after having four kids).
Now, I am a bit more rounded & soft. I’m strong, in fairly good shape (though I’m probably not up for a 5 mile run, if I’m being honest). My body fat percent is in the twenties rather than teens. I’ve got curves that fill my size 10 jeans.
(You know how I’ve learned to love said curves, which you can read about in this post.)
With all the childbearing of the last decade, I’ve been thick, I’ve been thin. I’ve gained, lost, gained, & lost. Through this all, I know it’s much better to be fit, to be strong, & to be in a place where I’m not carrying around extra pounds that only stress out my joints & make it hard to get around.
Though, is it better, am I actually happier, my life better, when I can fit into size 4 jeans instead of 8 or 10’s, or 12’s?
My husband doesn’t love me more, I don’t love myself more. Beyond hitting that initial healthy weight range, I don’t enjoy life more at a lower weight. In fact, being at an even lower weight in some ways is more stressful because there’s less wiggle room in order to maintain.
So what am I saying?
I’m content. My focus is now on the internal, on making sure that I’m exercising every day. I’m focusing more on strength training (kettlebells a few times a week, plus body weight & weight training) & making sure to do some yoga &/or pilates mixed in.
I’m not running, I’m not doing HIIT or bootcamp style training (these things are great, just not on my exercise priority list right now). Since I’m even more short on time, I’m focusing on what really delivers, which in my opinion is strength training & yoga/pilates (& get in a daily walk when I take my kids to school).
→ Interested in learning more about how to get fit, strong, & lean?
Check out my exercise ebook,
which includes weekly workouts & accompanying printables.
That stack of size 4 jeans does beckon me from time to time, & maybe someday I’ll wear them again.
But now that I am at weight that doesn’t compromise my health, I’m focusing on daily healthy habits, getting beyond focusing on a certain size or number on the scale.
Which means–at this point in time I’m not weighing myself. I don’t see the need. I’m at a healthy weight, I’ve already lost 50ish pounds. If it takes me six months or a year to lose 5 or 10 more, I’m okay with that.
I had a conversation with another mom, someone I met at a park a few weeks ago. We got on the subject of losing weight after kids.
“Yes, because you know, I still have about 10 more pounds to lose…” I said.
She stopped me mid-sentence.
This woman was in the process of losing weight herself, & had a lot of weight to lose. She admitted she was at least 50 pounds away from being at a healthy weight.
“What? You know you are not fat, don’t you?”
As soon as she said that, I felt ashamed. Petty. So off the mark.
Of course I knew I wasn’t fat & to even think, let alone say I needed to lose the last 10 pounds, I was conveying a mindset that I don’t believe in (which is, that there is perfect number on the scale, or “right” number), one that I knew I needed to correct in that moment.
“Yes, I know I’m not fat. And you know what? I don’t need to lose those last 10 pounds.”
The conversation moved to other things, but it got me thinking.
About the things I say, to myself & others. Do I really need to lose 10 more pounds? Would it be nice lose 10 more pounds? What would be the benefit of losing any more weight, considering the effort & work I would need to put forth?
The other day I put on some jeans.
I hadn’t worn them since early last year, before I got pregnant with Tyndale. I called Joseph at work.
“Honey! You’ll never believe it. I fit into my jeans, you know the ones that I haven’t worn since last year!”
He knew the ones.
“But the thing is, they’re a little too tight.”
I went on to explain that when I looked at my unclothed body in the mirror now, I think–dang, that’s a woman! I never once think, when I see a bit more flesh hugging those curves, “Sheesh, you look F-A-T. You need to lose a few pounds.”
But as soon as I put on my old jeans, that are a bit too tight, I do think–I need to lose a few pounds.
Back to the conversation with Joseph. After my “too tight” comment he says,
“Well, you know, it’s a little silly to let your jeans dictate what you’ll do. I mean, they’re just jeans.”
Yup. He’s right.
I shouldn’t let some old jeans determine how much I *should* weigh.
So that’s my update.
I’ve lost around 45 pounds. I’m focusing on continuing with my healthy habits (especially exercise). If I lose any more weight as a result of healthy habits, great. If not, great too.
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