{MM} 10.29.2012

These past few weeks have been so good.

I feel like I’m finally living my life.   Since I’m no longer working for a paycheck outside of the home & Joseph (happily & finally) is, I’m now in a place where I have the freedom to dictate my own schedule & I can figure out how to be the amazing wife/mother/friend/sister/daughter/human being that I’ve always wanted to be.

Before I forget.  Thank you for participating in the discussion on my choice to pull-back on blogging a bit.  Mostly it means I may not post every day & that I might not always be able to respond to each of your comments.  Know that I read them, & so appreciate what you have to contribute & say.  A blog with no comments, no discourse, no interaction or feedback from you is a sad blog indeed.

I think it’s important to insert here, that I’m fairly active on twitter & fb (although less so, on fb) & I find these tools helpful in interacting with you.  Also, I get emails from you, & they make me do cartwheels.  I love hearing from you.  Just last week, I heard from one of my favorite readers who just had a baby.  I also got an email from a reader who took the time to let me know that the blog has helped her in a profound way.  Thank you, your gratitude & words keep me here.

Also, it took some courage to hit publish for this post, but after hearing from many of you who are in the same boat, I’m determined to continue sharing & I’m glad I was so forthright with the nitty gritties of our massive debt (that we will pay off, & soon!).

On to the random, good stuff.

♥♥♥

♥  Currently reading…

Have you ever learned something only to realize that you wish you’d been doing that very thing all along?  Or, you have a deep sense of gratitude & humility that God has blessed you with that information so you wouldn’t have to go your whole life stumbling along making stupid mistake after stupid mistake because you didn’t know any better?

I feel that way with both of these books.

The Parenting Breakthrough, by Merrilee Brown
My sister & sister-in-law both highly recommended this book to me & I’m finally getting around to reading it.  I’m pretty sure that I’m going to need to get my own copy, because I have a feeling I’m going to need to refer to it for the next 20+ years.

The sub-title reads:  A real-life plan to teach your kids to work, save money, & be truly independent.  That seems to sum up the book nicely.

She offers 3 basic parenting principles.  Principle #1 struck a chord.  Deeply.

Here’s something I read last night that I really liked:

Principle #1:  You are not responsible for making your children happy all the time.  In fact, that is about the worst thing you can do for your kids.  “If you are so determined, you can indeed keep a child happy for eighteen years,” says John Rosemond.  “In the process, you will surely destroy the child’s self-esteem.  Why?  Because self-esteem is reflected in the child’s belief that ‘I can do it myself!'” (Daily Guide to Parenting, Nov. 26).  To raise great kids, we need to let them experience frustration, delayed gratification, sadness, misery, & the host of negative feelings common to mankind.  What better place to go through all this than at home?  It is a safe environment with parents watching out by protecting the children from really serious difficulities, & they can learn wonderful coping & indpendence skills.

The author’s voice is natural, like you’re just having a conversation with a girlfriend (a girlfriend who happens to know some really wise things about raising independent kids).  Also, she’s hilarious.

Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace
His first book from the early 90’s, but classic.

You know we’re on the path to debt-free living.  Dave’s helping us get there.  I love the simplicity of his approach.  Everything he says just rings true–avoid “stuffitis,” plant seeds (give money away to worthy causes), live substantially below your income, sacrifice now so you can have peace later, the borrower is servant to the lender, learn basic negotiating skills for great buys, & so on.

I want (an understatement) to be debt-free.  I will be debt-free. 

♥  Some super cute last minute Halloween costume ideas.  (&  for the record, like MJ, I will not be making the costumes this year.)

♥  Veganism myths debunked.  Really, really good stuff.

♥  Calories matter, but DON’T COUNT.

to pin:

(all recipes are vegan & gluten-free)

hazelnut brownies
homemade nutella

skor bar cups (you must pin this one)
chocolate peanut butter energy balls

spiced lentil soup w/ coconut milk
quinoa stuffed sweet potatoes 

simple  breakfast cereal

Hope you have a fun (& safe) Halloween with family/friends~

Thanks for coming to bring joy today!

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Have a question for me, or just want to say hello,
send me an email.
I always love hearing from you.


Comments


  1. Lfwfv
    on November 4, 2012 at 3:40 am said:

    Slowly getting caught up on your blog… I love the parenting breakthrough! Also, I haven’ t read your post about reducing blogging yet, but I think that’s great and I fully support your decision. And of course I don’t expect you to reply to every comment!

  2. Leanne @ Healthful Pursuit
    on October 31, 2012 at 3:58 am said:

    Great roundup of recipes, Janae. Thanks for including me!

    I must have missed the post about you deciding to pull back on blogging a bit and am happy to hear that you feel that you’re getting comfortable with your life and really being the best version of yourself! It sounds like great progress has been made in your life in just a couple of months, so happy to hear that you’re happy!!

  3. Melissa
    on October 30, 2012 at 11:01 am said:

    I think that (along with the idea that you are not responsible for making your kids happy all the time) you also need to let your kids try and fail. One of the classes I am taking (for my Special Education minor — non-teacher, mind you) has these discussion posts online and we have to respond to classmates. One of my classmates “teaching philosophy” for SpEd is that she never wants her students to deal with failure. Of course I thought: How profoundly idiotic!? What person learns from never failing? Its through our failures that we learn how to improve and become better. I think of little worse than to prevent a child from learning that failure happens and, of course, that it IS possible to rise up again and overcome the temporary obstacle.

    Like you — and me — with unnecessary debt, had we had trust funds set up for us to live off of, we never would have learned the simple concept to live within our means, to appreciate a paycheck (however big or small), and/or appreciate when another credit card has been paid off and the monthly statement of interest no longer nags you. (Seriously… such a cause for celebration!)

  4. Alisa
    on October 29, 2012 at 11:23 pm said:

    I love both of those books. I read the Boyack book probably yearly, and my kids and I regularly look at the list to make sure they are on track.

    Just barely got on board with the Dave Ramsey books (Total Money Makeover was the first I read) and we’re paying off debt. Hooray!

  5. Gabby @ the veggie nook
    on October 29, 2012 at 3:23 pm said:

    Great collection of links Janae 🙂

    It’s interesting about not making your kids happy all the time. I’m actually reading the book Bringing Up Bebe right now, all about French parenting. While I’m not expecting, nor at a place in my life where I’m even contemplating it yet, I think it’s so interesting because the French seem to have parenting down! And one of the things the author mentions is this same thing- kids need to be bored so they learn how to entertain themselves, they need to be frustrated to they learn how to calm down and they need to experience life’s negative emotions to grow into a sensitive well adjusted person. I recommend that book if you’ve never read it!

  6. Sandra
    on October 29, 2012 at 2:57 pm said:

    Love that idea of NOT taking it on to make your kids happy all.the.time. I see it in some of the girls’ friends – they are soooo outward looking in their motivation or their sources of contentment and happiness.

    Being sad or angry or frustrated or bored – that’s all part of being human. We don’t do them ANY favours by mitigating all of that. And they need to see US have those feelings too and deal with them appropriately.