Love Notes 4: What He Says

 Joseph & I on a date, about 4 years ago.
Joseph was a 1st year law student &  I had just had Mali.


Part 4 of the series.

If you don’t know:  My husband, Joseph is training to be a JAG officer for the U.S. Air Force. His training takes him away from us late August to just before Christmas.  This is another installment of our correspondence.


I recieved a snail mail letter from Joseph last week.  Here are few snippets.


I miss you a lot , but I’m comforted by semi-frequent reminders that this is right, on a lot of levels.

I’m proud to be here.  Proud of what I am doing.  I’m working hard, learning, trying to devote myself & be a leader.  I am an officer, soon to be a Captain, & plenty of people will react to that, respect it.

There is a lot of sacrifice in what we do, & I mean as a family, & most people, or perhaps only some people, get that.  Anyone with family in the military gets it.

[…]  You asked me if being in the military will make me less tolerant of your spontaneous ways.  It won’t.  Truth is, though there have been moments of friction resulting from me wanting have events planned out, I am telling you now that I just adore your spontaneity & your flexability.  No matter what I ever say about it, I am insisting right now that you don’t ever adjust or modify that particular piece of your character/personality.  I can’t think of a time that we followed your crazy plans & I regretted it.  It just takes me a moment to process.

I love that you are home-schooling the kids.  I know that it is the right thing for them & for you.  I know it’s hard & I really wish I was there to help, but it is exciting to me to think that my children are being taught by the exact teacher I would choose for them.  You.

I miss you so much.  I miss you in a way this is so much more intimate than the mere physical.  I miss your spirit in my life, your fluttering butterfly-light existence.  It is true that a part of me is satisfied with the regimented nature of what I do here, but in the the end, it is somewhat lifeless & dry.

I love you & can’t wait to have you splash back into my life.

I’ll see you soon then,


♥  love notes 1:  a few words
♥  love notes 2: hello, goodbye
♥  love notes 3:  follow up
♥  love notes 5: carousel ride 


  1. Candice
    on October 1, 2012 at 9:43 am said:

    I like the video. We have the same deal, he eats both pieces of meat, and usually likes it! It works out well. 😉 The human garbage disposal…Just kidding…mostly. 😉

  2. Jo
    on September 29, 2012 at 2:42 pm said:

    Janae, I had the pleasure of attending COT with Lieutenant Wise. I know he missed his family very much and spoke of you often. It was a tremendous blessing to have him on my team. His sense of humor and and ability to stay calm in the all the madness made a difference to me and to my experience. He is a fabulous wingman. Thanks for sharing him with us.

  3. Becky Wise
    on September 28, 2012 at 12:47 pm said:

    Janae, that letter was so sweet! I am literally crying just reading it. I just wanted you to know that one of the things that helped me decide to marry Elias was spending time with your family. I watched how happy you and Jose are together, and how you are so focused on raising a good family. Your kids are happy and healthy and loved. They are free to just be kids and I love that! You do such a great job with your kids and it gives me hope that families can make it! I know it must be hard to be the sole parent at home right now but I am sure you are making it work. We miss you guys but I am happy to hear you are doing well. Love you!

    • Janae Wise
      on September 28, 2012 at 12:51 pm said:

      Thank you Becky! How fun to hear from you. I’m always telling Joseph: “Elias really scored with Becky! I don’t know what he did to deserve her. He definitely married up :).”

      So nice to hear from you! Hugs ox

  4. Dana
    on September 28, 2012 at 6:10 am said:

    I just love how completely and utterly he adores you and how well he captures his feelings for you in the written vernacular. Poetic, really. When is HIS blog going to come out?? I like especially how he owns up to being a bit regimented but wants you to stay just as spontaneous as you are, even when it takes him a bit of time to catch up- that is always great in the end. This guy is the complete package, how blessed you two are to have each other! Does he have any single, much older brothers??? : ) Fun watching the clip; he spoke just exactly the way I envisioned he would- you know when you read a book and flesh out the characters speech cadences and mannerisms in your mind? Well, for once the movie matched up to the book! Thanks for getting my Friday am off to a great start. I am a sucker for love stories!

  5. Melanie
    on September 27, 2012 at 1:18 pm said:

    Love this! So sweet!

    It is so easy when living with a person for so long (I’ve been married almost 7 years) to get too relaxed about showing your love for them…I’ve been realizing lately that I want to work harder to get back to that newlywed-love stage, if ya know what I mean. Just trying to be more thoughtful and meaningful in the ways I show I care. I know my hubby’s “love language” is words of affirmation, so I’ve thought of writing love letters, but it feels silly to randomly write one when I’ve never written one before and we’re in the same house. :-p (I wrote him mission letters, but they certainly weren’t “love letters”!) I don’t have the “excuse” that we are apart. I know that probably sounds dumb since I’m glad we’re not apart at the moment (though he’ll leave on another business trip soon…sigh!) Guess I may have an opportunity then! haha. So sweet to see that kind of newlywed love (but matured over years of togetherness) in your letter!

  6. Marsha
    on September 27, 2012 at 10:51 am said:

    Wow, Janae. Such love. No dry eye here.

    I know this is hard for you, being apart. But, look at it in a way that I saw from this letter. I’m with my husband everyday and although I love him truly, deeply, with all of me we don’t tell each other these things because we are wrapped up in the day to day. The kids keep us moving and busy so to sit down and say/write such lovely thoughts is a treasure.

    I know it’s hard but take comfort in knowing that right now, no matter what, neither one of you are taking the other for granted in any way shape or form. I try to do the same but sometimes being wrapped up in life makes that hard.

    This is a wonderful reminder.

    Thank you for sharing!!


    • Janae Wise
      on September 27, 2012 at 11:03 am said:

      What a beautiful way to look at it. Now’s our time to relish writing sappy love notes. I love that perspective, thanks Marsha for bringing it back to what it’s all about.

  7. Ashlee Crozier
    on September 27, 2012 at 9:44 am said:

    That is the cutest, most adorable 1 minute and 7 seconds I have ever seen! You’re beautiful, Janae!

    • Janae Wise
      on September 27, 2012 at 10:55 am said:

      Thank you, Ashlee. I love shaky camera videos. My favorite part is when Joseph says: “And I got steak AND salmon, because Janae didn’t eat her salmon because she doesn’t eat those things.”

  8. Rachel @ My Naturally Frugal Family
    on September 27, 2012 at 8:56 am said:

    Oh my goodness I am so moved by his letter. I don’t know how you will have a single reader with a dry eye.

    Be well this Thursday Janae!

  9. Joy
    on September 27, 2012 at 8:30 am said:

    Beautiful. (And what a writer!)

    I’ve been thinking lately about romance — and love. It feels like people shy away from showing people their love; maybe because it seems like showing off, or it feels too intimate to share. Whatever the reason, I think it’s wonderful to see demonstrations of real love. Not movie love, but really great relationships. When I began to lose faith in love, I would look at relationships like Joan Didion and John Dunne’s, or at Calvin Trillin’s book About Alice and feel reassured that great marriages really do exist. In fact, as I read them I thought only of James — even though we were years away from becoming what we are today.

    Had I been reading your blog, it would also have been a great source of the same kind of inspiration! I feel so fortunate to have friends who are also in these deeply connected relationships, and to be able to connect with them (you) on understanding how precious they are. Bravo for being brave in showing us what goes on behind your happy marriage. For demonstrating that it takes work and communication and time.


    • Janae Wise
      on September 27, 2012 at 11:23 am said:

      “it takes work and communication and time.” Yes–it sure does! There are no magic pills or shortcuts to a happy marriage, just good ol’ fashioned selfless love & consistency!