Why I’m not an attachment parent

Last night was one of those night’s where Salem spent a good deal of time crawling on my head.

You see, the little imp wouldn’t go to sleep despite the clock reading 10:30, then 11:00, then 11:30.

Usually I put her in her crib (ie. a pack & play), she fusses for 1-2 minutes–tosses & turns, kicks off every blanket, curls up into a ball in the corner & falls asleep.

Last night she did not do this.  She cried & fussed.  For much longer than usual.

So I picked her up, held & rocked her. Sang a few songs.  You might call them lullabies, but the only lullaby thing about them is the fact that I try to sing in a soft soothing voice.  I take any song I know & sing it this way, so lullaby or no, it (usually) works like a charm.

She liked this.  I thought she might be asleep.  But the moment I set her down she screamed.  Screamed in a way that I knew I needed to just hold her.  I sat in the rocker & rocked her for a good while.  She fell asleep but when I went to lay her down, there was much screaming, again.  This is crazy, I’m bringing her to bed with me, I thought, in my dream-like stupor.

She was excited about that.  I was not.  She crawled around my head, on top of my head for awhile.  Turned, tossed.  Laid her feet on my belly.

I lay there, 11:30 at night, thinking, this is why I am not into attachment parenting.  I remember researching attachment parenting but stopped once I read the part where you co-sleep with your kids.  That is not something that I would like to sign up for.  I can barely sleep with my husband.  He accuses me of stealing blankets.  (What do I know?  I’m sleeping.)

I do miss a lot of things about Joseph being gone, but having to share a bed is not one of them.  Before you call me soulless & cold hearted, I want to point out I love cuddling.  It’s one of my favorite pastimes.  But, when it comes to sleeping, I want space.  Plenty of space.  When we can afford it, we’re getting a California king bed.  The bigger the better.

After a restless hour or two of Salem sleeping next to me, I worked up the motivation.  Picked up her little warm body.  Her balmy, easy breath on my face, & carried her to her room.  Slow & soft, lowered her into her crib.  Then stumbled back into my bed.  Wrapped my blanket around me, laid my head on my pillow.  My lips up-turned ever so slightly, a smile of pleasure.  Grateful for space.

♥♥♥

Do you co-sleep?  Thoughts on sharing a bed?


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