Stepping away, for awhile

I’m not sure how to say this, but I’ve realized in the past few months that I’m no longer the person I used to be.

I think I’m an adult now.

Like, really an adult. Which means, of responsibility.

As we are preparing to bring a sixth child into our family–due in the spring–& as I watch my older kids get, well older, I’m reminded yet again that life is short. My priorities are different now than what they were even a few years ago.

The last few years as a family we’ve tried to focus on greater simplicity, so that we could focus on what matters most. We’ve downsized, we re-prioritized, we’ve cut things from our schedules, while adding others that really reflect our values.

This shift has caused me to reflect on how I spend my time & how those allocations of time...

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pregnancy after miscarriage

Back in San Antonio, 2015.

 

I know many, many women have struggled with post-partum depression, but me, I struggle with pregnancy-induced depression. It sets in around the same time as the morning sickness & lasts as long as the nausea does.

I wake up, day after day, in a word, depressed.

I should be elated.

I’m pregnant!

 

Pregnancy after Miscarriage

After my miscarriage last year, we have been trying, & it finally took after about 8 months of hoping. I’m only 11 weeks, so still in the “danger of miscarriage” zone. Funny how with my first 5 pregnancies, having not once had a miscarriage, it was never on my mind, even in the first trimester.

But this time, it’s different. I’m finding it hard to ignore the mild anxiety, that sort of ever present worry that any...

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12 years: Can kids ruin marriage?

When Joseph & I were dating (all 1 & 1/2 weeks of our courtship–yeah, we were crazy), we agreed we were into big families.

We both came from rather large families (me–6 siblings, him–5 siblings), & we thought that 5-7 kids sounded good. After we had our first, we changed that to . For those of you who aren’t Mormon or Catholic, this seems like an INSANE number, I know.

Every August, as our anniversary comes & goes I tend to reflect on our union & I’m always in a bit of awe that it all happened & that it is still happening, better & stronger than ever, but not by chance. Our amazing marriage isn’t a matter of luck (read on).

[Other anniversary posts you might want to read–11 years: What is love anyway? & Love, 10 years of it ]

We’ve lived in Utah, Washington,...

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